Holiday Willpower: How to Stay Aligned Without Feeling Deprived

Optimal by LIV North
1 day ago
3 min read

The holidays invite warmth, connection, celebration—and no shortage of temptations. Rich foods, busy schedules, shortened sleep, travel, and emotional triggers all converge into the perfect storm for depleted willpower. But willpower is not simply a matter of “try harder.” As neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman and psychologist Kelly McGonigalboth emphasize, willpower is a trainable, biological capacity. When you understand how it works in the brain and body, you can work with your physiology instead of against it.

Willpower Lives in the Midline of the Brain

Huberman frequently highlights that willpower depends heavily on the Anterior Mid Cingulate Cortex (AMCC)—a region associated with persistence, self-monitoring, and effortful control. This part of the brain activates when you push through discomfort, resist a cue, or redirect attention from a temptation toward a goal.

Importantly, the AMCC strengthens through use. That means every deliberate act of self-regulation—pausing before reacting, choosing the walk instead of the third cookie, sticking to your sleep schedule—functions like a rep at the “willpower gym.” You’re not just making a better choice in the moment; you’re training the neural circuits that make the next choice easier.

The holidays therefore become an opportunity: frequent temptations offer many small “training sets” to reinforce your ability to choose what truly matters to you.

Stress and Fatigue Don’t Just Reduce Willpower—They Hijack It

Both Huberman and McGonigal highlight a crucial principle: willpower is reduced when the nervous system is in a stressed or depleted state. When you’re underslept, rushing, or overwhelmed, your body shifts control away from the prefrontal cortex (the seat of long-term decision‐making) toward more reactive systems that favor impulses and “quick hits” of pleasure.

This is why the holidays feel uniquely challenging—your baseline stress is often higher, sleep is disrupted, and routines fall apart.

But this also reveals a strategy:support your physiology, and your psychology becomes easier.

A few simple anchors help:

Prioritize sleep as the single greatest gift to your prefrontal cortex.
Maintain even the smallest movement practice (10–20 minutes is enough to boost dopamine and discipline circuits).
Build in pockets of downtime, even just a few slow breaths, to reset your nervous system.

McGonigal’s “Urge Surfing”: A Willpower Tool That Works With Biology

In The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal teaches a practice called urge surfing—a mindfulness-based technique for riding out cravings without acting on them.

Instead of resisting the urge with tension (which often backfires), you:

Notice the urge arise.
Observe the physical sensations that come with it.
Breathe and stay curious, as if you’re on a surfboard riding a wave.
Watch it peak and fall—because urges always fall.

This works because it re-engages the very circuits Huberman describes: observing an urge without acting recruits the ACC and AMCC, strengthening the “pause and choose” pathway.

Urge surfing doesn’t “kill” desire—it trains you to not be ruled by it. Over time, the waves get smaller, and your capacity grows larger.

A Holiday Willpower Strategy That Actually Works

Here’s how to blend the neuroscience and the mindfulness:

Step 1: Identify your North Star.

What do you want most from the season? Connection? Health? Presence? Peace? Let this guide your choices.

Step 2: Expect urges, don’t fear them.

Cravings are waves, not commands. When they show up, practice urge surfing—one breath at a time.

Step 3: Do willpower reps, not marathons.

You don’t need to be perfect. A handful of deliberate, conscious choices keep the AMCC strong.

Step 4: Support the system.

Sleep. Move. Hydrate. Take brief resets. Physiology is the soil in which willpower grows.

The Takeaway

Holiday willpower isn’t about restriction—it’s about alignment. Each small mindful pause strengthens the neural circuits that help you live your values. With a blend of Huberman’s neuroscience and McGonigal’s practical wisdom, you can navigate the season with more clarity, calm, and confidence—and end the year feeling proud, not depleted.

Paul Larmer is a mindfulness coach, personal trainer, professional speaker, and spiritual guide. Book a consultation today, optimal@livunltd.com.